Rihanna Is The Last Real Rapper Alive




Maybe it’s the fact that Rihanna makes more sense single. Or maybe it’s the curve heard around the world:

Or maybe it’s the way Rihanna announced her 70th break up with ‘ Heartbreak’ Drake:


Whatever it is, coupled with the amount of fucks she’s given since; the amount of fucks she constantly struggles to give about issues like romance and anything that doesn’t involve her money; whatever it is, in 2016 it’s clear  that Rihanna is the last real rapper alive.

So firstly to the elephant in the room. Yes, Rihanna isn’t technically a rapper. But who is? Young Thug? Future? Lil Yatchy? Drake is the biggest rapper in the game right now and even he spends more time singing than rhyming. Hip Hop is very different in 2016. The very last thing to expect from a rapper is actual rapping. About the only thing left we can expect is confidence and attitude.

Typically the epitome of masculinity, rappers sing, wear dresses and a lot of them don’t even rap. It’s far cry from the 90’s where N.W.A established the look and attitude of gangster rap, a look that became a mainstay to this day. But with reality TV, blog sites, camera phones and social media the illusion of these super gangsters has been shattered. Chains get snatched, rappers get humbled and the tax man reveals that the cars, mansions and women are all usually rented.

And while rapper apologies are nothing new, with endorsements, reality shows and so much more at stake, the rapper apology certainly feels like it’s coming a lot more frequently.

Google: ‘Lil Wayne, apology‘ and you’ll get Lil Wayne apologising for a crass lyric about Emitt Till on 2013’s ‘Karate Chop Remix‘.
Google: ‘J Cole, apology‘ and you’ll get J Cole apologising for making light of autism on 2013’s ‘Jodeci’s Freestyle’
Google: ‘Rick Ross, apology‘ and you’ll get Rick Ross apologising for a crass lyric making light of rape on 2013’s ‘U.O.E.N.O‘.

And the list goes on. No one is saying that these lyrics aren’t offensive and the groups that take offence, have no right to do so. But there’s a lot to be said for who glorifying gun violence and drug culture affects versus who rape culture affects and why one should be prioritised over the other. Either way the lyrics are offensive, but that’s hip hop’s job isn’t it? Hip Hop is a reflection of society. So if society’s fucked up, so is hip hop. And since when did we look to rappers for their moral compass?

Google: ‘Rihanna, apology‘ and you’ll get her apologising to her fans for cancelling a show. And apologising to her fans for not performing at this years Grammy’s. And that’s it. Rihanna draws plenty of criticism from twerking, smoking weed, violent content and nudity. And has apologised for none of it. Staying with nudity, how may times have we all seen Rihanna naked? She has no problem getting naked and receives almost none of the backlash that Kim Kardashian does. You could argue:

Well she’s talented whereas Kim Kardashian is a…

But try hard and you should be able to vaguely recall a time when Rihanna received her fair share of slut shaming, only it didn’t last long because unlike Kim, Rihanna doesn’t care.

She never ‘claps back’ with a nude shoot to ‘silence her haters’. She’s naked whenever she feels like it.
In this way, she’s almost inverted her sexuality to the point seeing Rihanna naked isn’t a thing that will ‘break the internet’ because 1. it’s so commonplace and 2. she has  much more interesting things going for her.

Rihanna’s give a fuck attitude is such a part of public consciousness we all remember what Chris Brown did to her, but we kind of ignore the fact that she took him back, made people mad and then became the first celebrity ever to force people to mind their own business. Despite the endless think pieces and even outright pleading from JAY Z for Rihanna to reconsider, she still did whatever she wanted. No sponsors threatening to pull out, no petitions, just her decision. The couple were proudly public, because the public’s opinion has never mattered. And once she had her fun and got some great memes, she kicked him to the curb again.


The most hip hop thing about Rihanna? Sex.

Gone are the days when Rihanna was a punchline for ‘hot, classy R&B chick I’d like to fuck‘; now Rihanna is no longer an object of desire, as much as an object of worship. Drake gave her Madonna’s crown (which is really Beyonce’s honestly) Yo Gotti wrote an ode, as did bargain basement One Direction and listen to this interview with Tyler, the Creator (you know the guy who jokes about rape and hating women)

Everyone. Gassed. Rihanna is no longer some R&B chick. Rihanna fucks like a rapper. Even the media treats her like a rapper. Anytime celebrity couples break up the media always drop headlines like:

‘(woman) flees to be with her family after breakup’ plus a picture of her in no makeup.

where the male half and especially rappers are seen in a club somewhere with an army of other women. Picture anytime Drake and Rihanna broke up and ask yourself who was pictured sullen and moody and who had a new haircut and hit the club? The only fake rapper part of Rihanna is that she makes her living from love songs, despite seeming to toss victims to the left pretty swiftly. You only need to see how she treats poor Drake to see it. Drake Songs written about Rihanna? 12+ Rihanna songs written about Drake?…

And her fling with Leonardo DiCaprio was less a brief fling that ended in heartbreak and more a clash of titans. Now Leo has to date 20 models at the same time to replace her.

Why is Rihanna the last real rapper alive? Maybe it’s because she rolls blunts on her bodyguards head. Maybe it’s because a year after Eminem rapped:

‘I’ll pee on Rihanna/ see man I do what I wanna/’

Instead of having hurt feelings, she hopped on a song with him and gave him his biggest hit ever.  She’s unapologetically real. True to every word she says. Drake gets in his feelings more than your favourite rapper apologises for being…a rapper. All of our favourite rappers are human and that’s ok; but Rihanna isn’t human. She’s a fictional character that embodies the spirit of all our favourite rappers and serves as a constant reminder that even with all todays demands of urban culture to reform, you never have to apologise for being yourself.